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Amidst Sex Slave Liberation, POWs Face New Threat

In the wake of large-scale sex slave liberation efforts, reports have emerged of displaced aggression from former captors. Thugs and military officers, stripped of their power over enslaved individuals, are now directing violent sexual acts towards captured enemy combatants.

As a former military wife, I find this deeply troubling. However, as a woman who has faced sexual violence, I see this as an opportunity to redefine the gender dynamics to offer something that both parties are satisfied with. Men seek sexual release as a means to 'scratch an itch' while women tend to view it as a pair bonding activity.

Many religions advocate for lifetime pair bonding, which I believe is possible with the appropriate pair-bonding support. An example of overcoming the patterns that lead to the trauma bonding indicated by this behavior is included at the end of this article.

This disturbing trend highlights the deep-seated issues of violence and misogyny that fuel human trafficking, and the need for comprehensive rehabilitation for both victims and perpetrators.


The chaos of war has created an environment where such crimes can occur with impunity, leaving both women and men trapped in a cycle of abuse. This disturbing trend highlights the urgent need for accountability and protection mechanisms.

Possible solutions include:

  • Increased Monitoring and Reporting: Establishing dedicated channels for reporting sexual violence, both within and outside the military, is crucial.

This 4-part slide series summarizes the Google AI's proposed search-history based matchmaking program, "Dater-Aid." Gemini advocates for long-term partnerships with real-time relationship coaching.

  • Enforcement of Existing Laws: Ukraine has laws against sexual violence, but enforcement is often lacking. Strengthening the judicial system to prosecute offenders is essential.

If we had the capacity to match partners based on Mutual Respect, Open and Honest Communication, Trust and Loyalty and Shared Values and Goals would you be open to exploring that mating dynamic?

  • Education and Training: Both military and civilian personnel need training on sexual violence prevention and response, emphasizing the vulnerability of all genders.x`x

  • Psychological Support: Providing comprehensive psychological support for victims is essential for their recovery and reintegration into society, regardless of gender.

  • International Pressure: The international community must condemn such crimes and pressure all parties involved to take concrete steps to protect vulnerable populations, including both men and women.


The liberation of these individuals is only the first step. Ensuring their safety and well-being in the aftermath of war requires a concerted effort from all stakeholders to address this widespread issue.


Whether we are the victim, abuser, both or neither, all of the steps outlined below are beneficial in understanding how to better navigate our own emotions. Every situation will have varying power dynamics. Practicing being assertive when we feel disempowered or being kind when we are in positions of power will prepare us for everything life brings.


First Step In Recovery is Identifying that there is a Problem.


The problem is generations-old trauma bonding. Don't worry, with a commitment to change, plus supportive friends, family, community and AI oversight, these behaviors will be inoculated from our culture, viewed by future generations the way we view smallpox.


SOLUTIONS:


Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) can be a helpful tool for both victims and perpetrators of abuse in relationships. It focuses on identifying and changing harmful thought patterns and behaviors that contribute to the cycle of abuse.


For Victims:

  • Identifying and challenging distorted thoughts: CBT helps victims recognize and challenge negative beliefs about themselves that may have been reinforced by the abuser, such as "I deserve this" or "I can't do better."

    • Distorted Thoughts:

      • Minimization: "It's not that bad. Other people have it worse."

      • Denial: "This isn't really abuse. They just have a temper."

      • Idealization of the abuser: "They're not always like this. When they're good, they're really good."

      • Fear of leaving: "I can't leave. I have nowhere to go, no money, and no one to help me."

      • Hopelessness: "Things will never change. I'm stuck in this situation forever."

      • Guilt: "I feel guilty for wanting to leave. They need me."

      • Shame: "I'm so ashamed of what's happening. I don't want anyone to know."

    • Instead, "I deserve the world." "I can find someone who respects everything I am."

  • Building self-esteem and assertiveness: CBT helps victims develop a stronger sense of self-worth and the ability to express their needs and boundaries.

    • Boundaries: When either party says, "Simon Says Stop!" each person jogs or Plays Dance Party Countdown for 3 minutes. Then both come back and write down 1 thing they e would have done nicer on a paper. Then they act it out "As If," they were some really really nice role model couple.

      • Like...who? Where the GREAT ROLE MODEL COUPLES at?!?! No wonder we be dysfunctionality.

    • Talk to yourself like a friend: When you make a mistake or face a challenge, be kind and supportive to yourself, just as you would be to a friend.

    • Forgive yourself: Remember that everyone makes mistakes. Learn from your mistakes and move on.

    • Prioritize self-care: Take care of your physical, emotional, and mental health by eating well, exercising, getting enough sleep, and engaging in activities you enjoy.

  • Coping with trauma: CBT provides tools for managing the emotional and psychological effects of abuse, such as anxiety, depression, and PTSD.

    • Breathwork. Dance Party. Exercising in an aerial studio always provides interesting and challenging movements and a community of supportive and nurturing women. EMDR. Writing. Drawing.

    • Be Patient with Yourself: Healing from trauma takes time. Be kind to yourself and don't expect to feel better overnight.

    • Don't Isolate Yourself: It's important to reach out for support, even if it's difficult.

    • Avoid Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms: Avoid turning to alcohol, drugs, or other substances to numb your pain. These can worsen symptoms and hinder your recovery.

  • Safety planning: CBT can assist victims in developing a safety plan for leaving the abusive relationship or managing ongoing threats.

For Perpetrators:

  • Identifying triggers and patterns: CBT helps perpetrators recognize the thoughts, feelings, and situations that trigger their abusive behavior.

    • Jealousy and Possessiveness: Excessive jealousy, accusations of infidelity, and attempts to control who you see and where you go.

    • Quick Temper: Frequent outbursts of anger, often over minor issues.

    • Blaming and Minimizing: Blaming you for their behavior, minimizing the impact of their actions, and refusing to take responsibility.

    • Isolation: Attempting to isolate you from friends and family, discouraging you from pursuing your interests or goals.

    • Controlling Behavior: Making decisions for you, demanding to know your whereabouts, and monitoring your phone or social media activity.

    • Past History of Abuse: A history of abusive behavior in previous relationships.

  • Developing anger management skills: CBT teaches techniques for managing anger and frustration in healthy ways.

    • DIY Anger Volcano: This creative activity involves building a volcano model and using it to explore different emotions that contribute to anger. It can be a therapeutic way to express and process feelings.

    • Stop, Relax & Think: This game helps impulsive children learn motor control, relaxation skills, emotional expression, and problem-solving.

  • Challenging distorted beliefs: CBT helps perpetrators address distorted beliefs about power, control, and their partner's role in the relationship.

    • Cognitive Restructuring Role-Play:

  • The therapist creates scenarios based on the abuser's specific distorted beliefs (e.g., "If my partner loves me, they will always agree with me").

  • The abuser and therapist role-play the scenario, with the therapist challenging the abuser's beliefs and offering alternative interpretations.

    • "Challenging Thoughts" Worksheet:

  • The therapist provides a worksheet where the abuser identifies triggering situations, their automatic thoughts, and the emotions these thoughts evoke.

  • The abuser then practices challenging these thoughts with evidence and alternative perspectives.

  • Learning healthy communication and conflict resolution skills: CBT teaches perpetrators how to communicate effectively and resolve conflicts without resorting to abuse.


Additional Considerations:

  • Individual vs. Couples Therapy: CBT can be used in individual therapy for both victims and perpetrators, as well as in couples therapy where both partners are willing to work on the relationship. However, couples therapy is generally not recommended while abuse is still occurring.

  • Safety First: The safety of the victim is paramount. If there is ongoing abuse, individual therapy is usually recommended before considering couples therapy.

  • Finding a Qualified Therapist: It's crucial to find a therapist who specializes in domestic violence and has experience using CBT in this context.

  • Not a Quick Fix: Changing deeply ingrained beliefs takes time and effort. These activities are just one part of a larger therapeutic process.

  • Seek Professional Help: If you or someone you know is struggling with abusive behavior, please seek help from a qualified therapist specializing in domestic violence.


The trauma dynamic in such abusive relationships is characterized by an imbalance of power and control, where the abuser uses various tactics to manipulate and harm the victim. This can include physical, emotional, sexual, or financial abuse.

Victim:

  • Fear and Intimidation: The victim lives in constant fear of the abuser's anger and potential for violence.

  • Low Self-Esteem: The abuse erodes the victim's self-worth and confidence. They may start to believe the abuser's negative messages about them.

  • Isolation: The abuser often isolates the victim from friends and family, making them more dependent on the abuser and less likely to seek help.

  • Trauma Bond: Over time, the victim may develop a trauma bond with the abuser, a complex psychological attachment that makes it difficult to leave the relationship.

  • Mental Health Effects: The abuse can lead to a range of mental health problems for the victim, including anxiety, depression, PTSD, and substance abuse.


UNDERSTANDING THE DYNAMIC FORCES AT WORK


Abuser:

  • Power and Control: The abuser seeks to maintain dominance over their partner through various means, such as isolation, intimidation, threats, blame, and gaslighting (making the victim doubt their own reality).

  • Cycle of Abuse: The relationship often follows a cycle of tension building, abusive incidents, and reconciliation/honeymoon phases. This creates a sense of instability and unpredictability for the victim.

  • Minimization and Denial: The abuser often minimizes or denies the severity of their actions, blaming the victim or external factors for the abuse.

  • Lack of Empathy: The abuser may show little to no remorse or empathy for the pain they cause their partner.

  • Underlying Issues: Often, abusers have unresolved trauma or psychological issues that contribute to their abusive behavior. They were often the victims of this learned behavior.

Important Considerations:

  • It's not the victim's fault: The abuse is never the victim's fault. The abuser is solely responsible for their actions.

  • Leaving is often a complex process: There are many reasons why victims may stay in abusive relationships, including fear, financial dependence, and hope for change. Leaving often requires careful planning and support.

  • Seeking help is crucial: Both abusers and victims can benefit from professional help. There are resources available to help individuals leave abusive relationships and to address the underlying issues that contribute to abusive behavior.

Resources:

Remember, CBT is just one tool that can be helpful in addressing the complex issues surrounding abusive relationships. If you or someone you know is experiencing abuse, please seek help.


Note to Self: Please, seek help. People love to help.

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